


Could have (he didn't)

by DanzaNelFuoco



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Canon Compliant, Introspection, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 06:41:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18089372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanzaNelFuoco/pseuds/DanzaNelFuoco
Summary: The worst part was that even though he knew he was behaving the right way - keep the distance, don’t talk to him unless it’s necessary, pretend he wasn’t his friend, act like he didn’t even exist, always have holy water within reach - he still wanted so bad to go and sit next to him, to put his hand on his shoulder and tell him everything was gonna be all right, that they would help him, that they were still his friends.It would be a lie, of course.





	Could have (he didn't)

**Author's Note:**

> COW-T #9: tristezza (angst)
> 
> Basically I have complaints about how they treated the aftermath of Rin being Satan's son (in the 2011 anime).

Ryuji knew there was something going on with him.

At first, it was just a hunch. After all, Rin Okumura wasn’t the brightest student, there must have been something in him that made Sir Pheles accept him into cram school, except the fact that he was Yukio Okomura’s brother.

Blood couldn’t be the only reason he was here.

_\- it was, just not for the reason Bon thought -_

So yes, Rin wasn’t the brightest student, always falling asleep during classes, always distracted, always so ignorant even on the basics, and yet…

Yet Bon could feel there _was_ something special in him.

It was contradictory and confusing. The boy was emanating a strong aura of power - like he was just waiting for an awakening to show them what he was capable of - but at the same time, he was there, snoring and laughing and blushing so cutely -

No.

Bon wasn’t gonna think about how cute Rin was when he was blushing, his cheeks turning slightly pink, his eyes so wide and sparkling and pure…

Fuck.

There was nothing pure in Rin.

Now they all knew it.

Ryuji didn’t understand how they could all fall for his act. He looked pure and precious, a little cinnamon roll, but he was the spawn of Satan - the spawn of Satan, for fuck’s sake - corrupted from the inside, demonic from the top of his head to the tip of his tail.

And they, exwires, exorcists in training, they didn’t notice one of their friends wasn’t human.

Allergic to holy water, my ass.

Ryuji gritted his teeth, trying to ignore the boy sitting alone at his desk, his shoulder slumped, his face down in his book. He wondered if he was really reading it or just pretending to just to not face the fact that he was alone now.

Well, not alone. Kamiki was the only one who was still treating him as usual, not actually being friendly, but not really avoiding him like they all were doing.

And no, Bon wasn’t feeling sorry for him. He wasn’t.

Even though Rin had revealed his nature only to save them, fighting Amaimon to protect them, using his flames for the good, he had gone berserk so easily…

And what if?

Yes, Shiemi could bring him back - Shiemi throwing herself at him, stopping him on his track, Shiemi _risking her life_ , because it was that, either bring him to his senses or get slain by his flaming sword.

The sword.

Bon was an idiot for not recognizing it.

He should have known that the sword belonged to his temple.

But he didn’t because he was an idiot. Because he was too busy bickering with Rin - too distracted by how brilliant were his eyes, how lovely was his smile.

Bon was an idiot with a crush.

A crush on the Antichrist.

Let’s face it, and Bon thought he had problems before?

Try bringing the fucking bastard child of Satan home to meet dad.

No. That wasn’t gonna happen.

Ryuji sighed and tried to focus on his own book.

The worst part was that even though he knew he was behaving the right way - keep the distance, don’t talk to him unless it’s necessary, pretend he wasn’t his friend, act like he didn’t even exist, always have holy water within reach - he still wanted so bad to go and sit next to him, to put his hand on his shoulder and tell him everything was gonna be all right, that they would help him, that they were still his friends.

It would be a lie, of course.

Things weren’t all right, they would never be. Rin could kill them all on a whim - he could do so from the start and he didn’t but now they knew the possibility existed and it scared them too much.

Maybe if Rin had told them…

Bon could understand why he didn’t say anything - hell, Bon would have probably done the same if he were in his place - but he couldn’t help feeling disappointed

Rin didn’t trust them.

They were his friends, they saved each other's lives, they had each other back… and yet Rin didn’t trust them with his secret.

The nerve he had to ask them to trust _him_.

Bon wanted to punch him in the face.

Yes, maybe that was gonna be it, punch him and raging at him and then forgetting about the stupid crush he was harboring.

“You spelled it wrong.”

“Thanks for helping me, Polkabrows” Rin’s voice reached him and Bon lifted his gaze just to see Kimiko sliding in the chair next his, opening her book and pointing at an error on his notebook.

“Don’t read too much in it, idiot. And I have a name, you know! It’s Izumo, Kamiki Izumo, why don’t you ever use it?!”

Bon could just see half of his face from his seat, but it was enough to see his smile broadening, before returning to his homework.

“I just thought you would feel lonely” she admitted, lowering her voice, but not enough that Ryuji couldn’t hear her.

Rin shook his head. “Nah, don’t worry. I’m used to it.”

“You - you are used to it?”

“Yeah,” Rin shrugged it off, “I didn’t have friends before. You know, just me and my brother.” He laughed a little bitterly. “Apparently, even as a kid, I was a little demonic. Other kids didn’t like me.”

“Well, your ears probably gave you away. Bet they pulled your tail” she snorted.

“Oh no, I didn’t have them back there. I was still human.”

“Still human and they didn’t like you?”

“Hey, I wasn’t that different from now. I’m just pulling it out on demons instead of assholes.”

“I don’t think you banished assholes to hell as you do with demons.”

“Well…”

“Rin! You can’t touch humans!” she stopped writing on his notebook to look at him.

“Honestly, he was an asshole _and_ a demon. And I didn’t banish him anywhere, I just punched him in the face because he was killing pigeons. Dad exorcized him.”

“How did you get he was a demon just by him killing birds? Not that it isn’t a psychopath attitude, but still…”

“Oh, yes, well, actually dad exorcized him after he tried to burn my eye off and then offered me to go to Gehenna with him as the Prince of whatever.”

At that point, every pretense of being studying the class was putting up was being given up. Bon could see the rest of his classmates listening intently to the pair in front of them with as much attention as him.

“He tried to burn your eye off?” Kamiki asked dropping her pen.

“Yes?”  
“Don’t say it like it’s normal, idiot!”

“Well, it’s like one of the most normal things that happened to me - what’s a street fight that gets out of hand compared to find out you’re the son of Satan and that demons actually exist and that this school exists and the fact that my brother is actually aware of everything and better yet he’s like a genius in exorcism and has been for, like, forever?”

“You didn’t know your brother was…?” she gestured to the professor’s desk.

“Nay, why do you think I freaked out that much the first day? I spent two days thinking about what to tell him about dad being killed by Satan and everything!”

She considered it for a moment, then she let out a “You’re fucked up.”

Shrugging, Rin went back to his book. “Pretty much.”

“And now you wanna kick Satan’s - _your father’s_ \- ass” she chuckled.  
But hilarity was lost on him. “I only have one father and that was Shiro Fujimoto” he replied seriously.

And that was it, wasn’t it?

Rin could have gone to Gehenna, could have killed them all, could have brought destruction and despair to Assiah, could have, could have, could have.

But he didn’t.

He decided to become an exorcist.

He decided to go and kick Satan’s ass.

Ryuji would beat him to it, of course, but that wasn’t what mattered.

What mattered was what Rin wanted to do - what he wanted to be - and he wanted to be an exorcist.

“I don’t remember this passage” Rin showed his notebook to Kamiki. “How do I complete it?”

The girl shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m not the expert in Arias here. Hey, Bon!” she turned, startling him. “How do you complete this?”

She looked at him in the eye, loading her gaze with significance. She wasn’t just asking him about homework. She was challenging him to refuse to help Rin.

Ryuji stood up, the chair scratching against the floor.

“Let me have a look at it.”

Bon circled his desk and sat at the free chair at the right of Rin. When he snatched the notebook from his hands and brushed them together, neither of them jerked away.

“E - exorcizamus te,” he started, feeling the heat raising from his neck, “omnis immunundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica. Ergo, draco maledicte, ecclesiale tuam securi tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos” he recited, writing it down, before giving the notebook back, almost throwing it at him in the haste. 

“Thank you” Rin blushed.

“Yeah, well, you’re welcomed.”

It was a little step and it didn’t make everything all right. But it was a start.

 


End file.
